Not Your Mother's Pantry

This quote struck me...

"It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men." - Frederick Douglas

I think of it often when beating myself up for not being able to provide everything for my son. What I do provide is consistency, which builds self-esteem and independence. He can trust me and by virtue of that, himself.

Spaghetti & Meatballs, yo...easy.

Michelle

Caribbean Beans & Greens Wrap

Sometimes I get ideas in my head that just don't leave easily. Like, a few years ago, right after my husband left me, I decided to go to Italy. Didn't have the money in hand, had to charge a great deal of it, and dragged a five year old boy whose heart also felt broken across the world - just cause.

Then, we went to Hawaii. Nuff said.

This time Spain calls to me. I don't have any money. I don't have any credit to speak of or that I've found in my back pocket, yet. Either way, for Spring Break 2010 - the little man and I will climb in the big airplane to go across the pond to see some architecture. Seems like a good idea and will most likely set me back a few pennies, but as the child said to me the other morning, "I mean, really, I only have, like, 10 years before I become a grown up."

I mean, like, really.

In the mean time, I'm going to try Mark Bittman's idea about being a vegan 'till 6pm everyday. I think, in my case, it'll be vegetarian.

Here's lunch for tomorrow - Caribbean Beans & Greens Wrap

Adapted from the Moosewood Restaurants New Classics

• 1 cup diced onions
• 1 garlic clove
• 1 tbsp vegetable oil
• 1/2 tsp dried thyme
• 1/2 tsp ground allspice
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 4 cups greens, collard, spinach, either way - chopped
• 1 tbsp water, or more as needed
• 15 oz black beans, rinsed and drained
• 3 tbsp orange juice
• 4 flour tortillas

In a soup pot or skilled, saute the onions and garlic in the oil until translucent. Add the thyme, allspice,, salt, greens, and water. Cover and cook on medium heat, adding more water if necessary. Push the greens to one side, add the beans to the pot and mash them. Add the orange juice and stir everything together, and remove from heat.

Warm the tortilla and place 1/2 cup into the bottom half of each tortilla. Eat immediately.

Barcelona, anyone?

Michelle

Spicy Chickpea Salad

I cooked tonight and what a mess. Whew, am I out of practice or what? Granted, I scheduled a full day of working from home, a mani-pedi, grocery shopping, and trying to find snakes for my hair. Guess that cold wore off, or I have Tylenol Cold to thank. That stuff is like crack. I didn't eat all day and didn't even notice.

Here's the recipe:

• 5 oz. chickpeas
• 1 medium tomato, cut into 1/2 inch dice
• 1/2 cup cucumber, cut into 1/2 inch dice
• 1/2 small red onion, finely diced
• 1/2 jalapeno, seeded and minced
• olive oil, not much, but some
• 2 tbsp lemon juice
• 1 tsp cumin
• 1/4 tsp cayenne pepper
• 1 tsp dried mango powder, if you can find it.

Mix all together and call it good.

Easy. Tasty. It's the fish that didn't come out so well.

Oh well.

Michelle

On not cooking...

I spent the last few years, approximately3 1/2 years, learning to cook. Prior to that, the chef cooked and the boy and I ate. Nothing to it. Then the chef left. Suddenly, abruptly, in a way I can hardly believe I survived. I did, though, and learned to cook. Now, just as suddenly, the chef returned and I don't get to cook. I say this as though not cooking deteriorates the quality of my overall life. It doesn't. 

The man takes over the kitchen with projects, with food I don't want to eat, with food he just wants to play with and make a big mess with; then he waits for the dishwasher to appear. Together, the chef and I banter over this change, this loss of cooking for me, and loss of job for him. Together, we try to make this work. Together, we work around. This feels new. This together.

The chef decided, today, that he is sick of food. Trying to explain it to me, he informed me that he felt sick of eating. I told him he's sick of cooking dinner. It's hard. Cooking dinner can be demeaning. It generally sucks, cooking dinner challenges a person to provide nutrition, taste, and pleasure. What I know about cooking dinner for my son is that, the boy, my son, is a picky eater. I knew this, from the last few years of trial and error, tears and chaos, fighting and compromising, of working around these issues, the kid-let and I together. The chef did not know this about his only child.

I knew and worked around it - which is what mother's do. We work around their habits, both with children and with partners, women work around. I will resume cooking dinner next week. I will work around what the boy will eat, what the chef will tolerate, what I will tolerate and then I will wait to see if the dishwasher appears.

Know what I'm sayin'?

Michelle

One year later

In the last year, so very much changed for my little family. I lost a woman who mothered me, caught every virus (just about) known to San Francisco, and the chef moved into my home. Did you catch that last one thrown in for shits & giggles?

Thus, the last one is the reason for the lack of posting. I no longer cook. I don't have to. I go off to work and I come home to an amazing dinner. The child's homework completed, the table set, and a glass of wine waiting for me, with a "How did your day go?" to greet me at the door. It seems rude to complain or kvetch about this. Even though this man's presence changes my entire life around and can sometimes cramp my style, it's not like he's making me miserable or anything.

I've given this much thought - should I talk about what I'm not cooking? should I talk about how I feel about not cooking?  how do I handle not cooking? Fairly well, I have to admit, being the type-A person that I can be, not being in control of all the details of my day-to-day life challenges me all.the.time. Then I realize that control doesn't exist, that it's nothing more than perception, and then as if to hit it even further home that I am not in charge, I caught the pseudo swine flu. A bad cold with a hint of swine flu - it's going around the elementary school, so I'm thinking a matter of time. 

However, as I discussed this with the chef, the little man says to us, "You caught the WINE flu? How hilarious is that? Of course, you would get the WINE flu, mom!" slaps knee and falls over laughing Where'd that kid get his sense of humor? really, sheesh.

I did attend a wine tasting on Friday night, ate at Ruth's Chris' Steak House on Saturday night, and experienced a lovely wine filled afternoon on Sunday before succumbing to the symptoms that felled me for good. Sneezing, itchy eyes, coughing, fatigue, and all over aching - which, to be very honest - I tried hard to ignore and make go away. LAWD, I TRIED.

Anyhoo - I'm going no where fast for the next few days. Doctor's orders. Even if I don't have the Swine flu, my little body, filled with contagion and a compromised immune system, COULD get the swine flu with it going around like it is. Also, worse, I might give it to someone else.

Here's to having the WINE flu just 'cause it seems so much more fun than this,

Michelle 

I love polenta....

I found this on the website serious eats and it seems like it would taste delightful? Something one could make ahead of time and eat lots of.

I think this might be a pull together Saturday morning to eat late in the day.

Polenta Stuffed with Spicy Greens and Cheese

- serves 8 -

Ingredients

11 cups water
2 2/3 cups coarse-ground cornmeal (polenta)
6 tablespoons olive oil, divided
1 onion, thinly sliced
3 cloves garlic, thinly sliced
1 bunch chard, triple washed, stems separated, stems thinly sliced and leaves sliced 1/2" wide
1 bunch beet greens, triple washed, stems discarded, leaves sliced 1/2" wide
1 cup red wine
2 teaspoons chili flakes or more to your taste
8 oz. caciocavallo + more for garnish (aged provolone is a good substitute, or try smoked mozzarella)
Salt

Procedure

1. Bring the water to a boil in a large soup pot and add 5 teaspoons of salt. Whisk in the cornmeal in a thin, slow stream. Stir continuously for 2 minutes. Cover and reduce heat to a lively simmer. Stir one minute out of every minutes for a total of forty minutes, then uncover and cook for five more minutes. It should be creamy and thick at this point. Keep it hot until you are ready to assemble the dish, otherwise it will set up.

2. Meanwhile, in a large skillet, heat 2 tablespoons of the olive oil over a medium high flame. Fry the onion and garlic for 1 minute. Add the thinly sliced chard stems and saute for 3 minutes. Add the leaves. It is ok if they are still wet. You may have to add them in batches to get them all in the pot, waiting til the first bunch "melts" a little. Add the chili flakes, red wine and 1 teaspoon of salt. Stir, cover, reduce heat to low and cook until they are fully tender. Taste and adjust salt and chili flakes.

3. Grease a 13" x 18" half-sheet pan (aka jelly roll pan). Pour in half of the polenta and spread it into an even layer. Top with the sauteed greens (leaving behind any excess liquid) and the Caciocavallo cheese, distributing them as evenly as possible. Cover with the remaining polenta and use a spatula to form an even layer.

4. Cover with plastic wrap and allow to chill until the polenta has set up firm, at least a couple of hours.

5. Preheat the oven to 400°F. Slice into squares and then triangles. Brush on the remaining olive oil. This will seem like a lot but we are trying to encourage the top to crisp up. Bake for 20 to 30 minutes until heated through (a thermometer should read at least 160°F.) Now turn on the broiler and cook until you've got nice brown spots all over the top, watching carefully to avoid burning.

What do you think? Give it a go?

Cheers,

Michelle

Eating at home vs. eating out

I cook, or lately the chef cooks,  5 to 6 nights a week. What makes any of this possible is being prepared. Knowing that I'm going to cook at least 5 dinners a week forces me to shop accordingly. Now that the chef lives with us, he and I coordinate to use all that we buy. And we buy A. LOT. OF. FOOD.

Whether it's meatloaf, spaghetti, pizza, or fish we prepare it all. At eight years old, the kid-let prefers to eat in, most of the time, due to the fact that the food just tastes better. To be fair, his father is a trained chef, so when that man cooks everything just tastes better.

It's my belief that unless I'm really dragging tired, I can cook something up quickly. Eggs, pancakes, pasta, shrimp scampi using frozen shrimp, pizza with store bought crust, grilled cheese with tomatoes, or, worst case scenario, we eat quesdillas with re-fried beans and what-ever-veggie is in the house.

Seriously, it's not too much to teach my son to eat well, at home, with his family - regardless of who we define as family.

Tonight, the chef made meatloaf wrapped in bacon.

So excited,

Michelle

Compromise

Moral of the story...I don't like it. I don't like to share or share space or compromise. I just don't.

Tonight, in honor of compromising, after all my mother is coming to visit, I'm making kale with bacon (hi, Nana - wink, wink, nod, nod) and chicken marsala. I also still have to go to the store to get potatoes, so I can mash them. Who doesn't love mashed potatoes?

Chicken Marsala

4 chicken breast, skinless and boneless

1 tbsp oil

2 cup sliced mushrooms

3/4 cup marsala wine

2 tbsp rosemary

butter

sour cream or cream

Dust chicken with flour, salt, and pepper. Heat oil and saute chicken until golden brown on both sides. Pull chicken from pan and set aside. Place a bit more oil in the pan and begin to saute the mushrooms. Add marsala wine to the pan and reduce by half, scraping the fond from the pan.

Return the chicken to the pan with the mushrooms to finish cooking, roughly 3-5 minutes or more. Add rosemary and finish with butter or sour cream.

Taste.

This is one of my favorites.

Michelle

Salmon, Rice, and Brocolli

Nothing fancy, just a very simple, post-soccer dinner for a small family.

Something fancier tomorrow.

Michelle

Thirty Three and counting

This years birthday hit me like a ton of bricks.  I felt much older than I ought to and didn't quite know how best to deal with that, so I cried lots and then I danced as though no one watched. Cliche, yet, m likelyno one watched.  No one except my son, who waved his giant drumstick around as if he were a miniature ginger caveman on a rampage, and proceed to shake his money maker right next to me almost the entire time. Nothing feels better than warm sun, good people, and a small child lolling around on your back. He just kicked it with me. Nothing seemed to phase him, until we ran out of cash and he cried hunger. The giant drumstick saved us all. Picture to follow. 

 

Hardly Strictly Bluegrass kicked my ass up one side and down the other. Should you ever find yourself blessed with the opportunity to see Elvis Perkins in Dearland live, by gosh and by golly take it. Simply amazing. No words, just tears, and amazement.

 

Now, if you find The Knitters in a town near you, go. Order yourself something fizzy, don yourself a cowpoke hat, and shake it.

 

After all,  on your thirty third year of life with the Old Crow Medicine Show rocking the trees and the full moon coming up above them, there's very little more amazing than dancing the night away with the people you love and who love you the most.

 

Eat up the Shell Beans

Adapted from the NY Times

• 1 1/2 pounds Swiss chard or red chard

• Salt to taste

• 2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil

• 1/2 medium onion, sliced in half moons across the grain

• 2 large garlic cloves, minced

• 14oz beans, such as cannelini, borlotti, or purple runners

• 1 pound potatoes, preferably fingerlings or Yukon

  golds, cut in 1-inch pieces

3 1/2 to 4 cups water

A bouquet garni made with a sprig each thyme and parsley (or basil), a bay leaf and a Parmesan rind (if you’ve got it on hand)

Freshly ground pepper to taste

2 tablespoons chopped flat-leaf parsley

Freshly grated Parmesan for serving

1. Bring a large pot of water to a boil. Fill a bowl with ice water. Stem the chard, setting aside the stems, and wash the leaves thoroughly in two changes of water. Wash the stems, trim away the ends and dice. Set aside. When the pot of water comes to a boil, salt generously and add the chard leaves. Blanch for one to two minutes, until tender but still bright, and transfer to the bowl of ice water. Drain, squeeze out excess water and chop coarsely. Set aside.

2. Heat the olive oil in a large, heavy casserole or Dutch oven over medium heat. Add the onion. Cook, stirring, until it begins to soften, about two minutes, and add the diced chard stems. Cook, stirring often, for about two minutes, until the stems begin to soften, and add the garlic. Stir together for a minute, and add the potatoes and water (just enough to cover everything) and bouquet garni. Bring to a simmer. Add salt to taste. Cover and simmer, until the potatoes are tender. Add the beans at this point, if you’re using canned beans, and simmer for a bit to warm the beans through. Add the blanched chard, and simmer for another two to three minutes. Add pepper, and then taste and adjust salt. Remove the bouquet garni. Stir in the parsley and marjoram, and serve, passing Parmesan at the table for sprinkling.

 

Poor little critter on the road....

Michelle